Did you know that by telling people your goals, you may be sabotaging yourself from completing them?
It works like this; when you gush to somebody about the million dollar idea you thought up for your business, or the new book/blog/movie you are going to write, or the 50 pounds you are going to lose, your brain gets the same rush of chemicals, and you get the same buzz as if you had completed your project and achieved your goal.
Telling people about your goals or ideas can actually satisfy your desire to do the actual work. This means that the more you talk about what you’re “gonna do”, the less likely you are to actually do it.
Add on top of this that your spouse, your friends, your co-workers, and your family members are all sick of hearing about your big plans that never quite seem to materialize.
So stop telling us. Show us.
Don’t tell us about your million dollar idea, show us the finished product.
Don’t tell us about the book you are thinking of writing, let us read it.
Don’t tell us your plan for losing the weight, do the work and let us be the one to bring it up “Wow! You look great! Have you been working out?”
Guys, this is especially true in our marriages. In all the years we’ve been married, we’ve told our wives our dreams, our plans for an amazing life. If you’re like most guys, your walk hasn’t matched your talk. She doesn’t need to hear another word about it; surprise her with the finished project instead.
Now, I’m not talking about doing away with goal setting and accountability. We all need that. What I’m suggesting is that you stop telling everybody about it.
Here are three steps to help you kick off an awesome 2012 by completing some of the big things you have talked about for years.
1. Write down your goals. Make sure they are S.M.A.R.T. Like I tell the boys on the wrestling team I coach, “The difference between a wish and a goal is that a wish is in your head and a goal is on paper.”
2. Find someone who can hold you accountable. It is important that this person doesn’t have an emotional connection to the outcome of whatever goals you have. This should be someone you trust and respect. This should be someone who has the confidence and maturity to support you, encourage you, and to call you on your B.S. when you start giving excuses as to why you haven’t done the work you committed to. If you are really serious about this, hire a coach to hold you accountable.
3. Do the work. This is the step that separates successful artists, inventors, athletes, and entrepreneurs from the rest of us.
Like my good buddy Rex Owens says “Many fail because they focus on the outcomes. You have to focus on the process.”
So, until next time, shut up and show us.
Take the lead,