All posts by Jeremiah Miller

The Three Big Lies That Are Keeping You Stuck

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You are being lied to.

We all have beliefs that hold us back and keep us from building truly remarkable lives. I call these limiting beliefs.

We pick up some limiting beliefs as children: I’m not a good reader, I’m not very smart, I don’t have a good memory, I’m not a good artist, I’m not pretty.

We pick up some limiting beliefs as adults: I don’t deserve to be loved, I could never quit this job and find something better, I can’t dance, I’m a fraud and it’s just a matter of time before my boss/co-workers/family/friends figure it out.

These beliefs are usually developed over time as we experience failures or emotional trauma. Often, we learn them from other people telling us who we are, and what we can and cannot do.

There are three especially destructive limiting beliefs I’ve noticed in just about every client I’ve coached over the last six years.

I call these the three big lies. Read More

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Six Questions To Answer If You Want To Turn Your Passion Into A Business

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Turning your passion into a business isn’t easy, but it can be done.

I have this conversation with aspiring entrepreneurs all the time. They show up at our meeting with a lot of energy and a lot of hope. What they don’t have is a lot of clarity about how to get started, or even if it’s an idea worth pursuing. Here are six questions I ask them in order to help them get clarity on both. Read More

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14 Key Learnings From Over 5000 Hours of Leadership Coaching

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When I got my first coaching client in 2009, I had no idea that leadership coaching would turn into a career. But just last week, I was calculating my coaching hours and I found that I have coached over 5000 hours in the last six years. That got me wondering what are the most common, powerful lessons clients have learned in our sessions. Luckily, I write those down. At the end of each meeting, I ask each client to identify the most powerful lesson or idea from that meeting. I boiled over 3000 key learnings down to these:

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What I’ve Learned About Being A Man From My Three Dads

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Boys without dads don’t have to follow the same rules as everyone else.

I could steal from my mom, cheat on tests or fight at school. I could treat people how I wanted.

My behavior wasn’t my fault. I’d been abandoned by all the fathers I’d had. I was damaged goods.

That was how I saw things most of my life. It wasn’t until my 30’s that I realized I had been telling myself the wrong story all along. I wasn’t a fatherless child. I’ve had three fathers who have each given me a gift which helped me grow into the man I am. Read More

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How to Create Loyalty

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Would your team march across a scorching desert to help you reach a goal?

One of the most important and most difficult things we must do as leaders is to motivate and create loyalty in the people we lead.

Many leaders try to solve this through talking. But pep talks are the five-hour energy drinks of motivation. They fire people up for a bit, then wear off. And as with caffeine, your team builds up a tolerance to your “come-to-Jesus” talks. They get less and less effective.

But there is another way.

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Three Ways You Can Be More Strategic

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My five-year-old nephew beats me at cards sometimes. We play “War.” We face off and flip cards. The player with the higher card wins. We keep going until one of us has all the cards. It is completely random and involves no decisions, and therefore no strategy. He wins sometimes. I win sometimes.

Contrast this with chess. Chess is all decisions and no random chance. In fact, each turn a player might have to choose from six good moves.. That means over the course of a typical game, a player would make 1077 decisions. That is roughly the number of particles in the observable universe.

Where there are decisions, there can be strategy. Read More

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How To Get Really Good At Saying “No”

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You say “yes” way too often.

One of the reasons Americans lead busy lives, running from one thing to another, stressed out, doing just enough to get the job done but not really excelling at anything, is that we say yes too much.

I fall into the same trap. Between client work, business development opportunities, time with my wife, fitness, friends, oh and sleep, my life can get full in a minute. I can tell it’s happened when I wake up in the middle of the night, remembering something I was supposed to do or a meeting I missed. Read More

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3 Steps To Becoming A Better Leader In Your Marriage

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I don’t remember the first divorce. I was three-years-old. All I knew was that my dad left and I missed him.

The second divorce is burned into my memory. Well maybe not the entire thing, as a ten year old I missed all the behind the scenes stuff. But I remember the night they told me. I remember them coming into my room as I was going to bed, their long shadows in the hallway light.

I remember that I didn’t understand any of it. All I knew was that I was losing something special. I was losing another dad.

Over the last decade, I’ve paid attention as friends and acquaintances started divorcing, and I’ve found a pattern. In just about every case, the husbands weren’t leaders in their family. Read More

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Sit In It

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Before Alcatraz last year, I hadn’t willingly jumped into cold water since I was on a camping trip when I was eleven. On a ten dollar bet, I cannon-balled into the chilly North fork of the American River. My hatred of cold water overpowered by the anticipation of dropping ten bucks on candy at the corner store.

I’ve dreaded swimming in cold water my whole life. I have done whatever I could to avoid it. But in order to make the swim from Alcatraz without a wetsuit, I had to overcome the power that cold water had over me. Read More

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